Some people who suffer from chronic pain go out of their way to keep it to themselves.
That’s what Matthew Poulin, 34, owner of Total Martial Arts Center in Timmins, says he did for a long time.
Poulin was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at 16-years-old.
“What Crohn’s feels like is hard to describe,” says Poulin. “I've had it so long, I almost can’t remember how it feels not to have it. I do remember waking up all the time during the night with shooting pains in my stomach. Cold sweats, shaking.”
“I also used to get them at school and I would go find a place to be by myself,” says Poulin. “Hiding it was important to me because I didn’t know how to tell people that I was ill and also to tell people so they’d believe me.”
Poulin says being believed was a constant challenge, even when it came to his doctors.
“I remember always having a sore stomach growing up, but when I was 16, everything started getting much worse,” says Poulin. “Before that, doctors always were saying there was nothing wrong and I was likely faking it.”
“I had done so many tests growing up it was a nightmare,” says Poulin.
Poulin says having the right doctor made all the difference.
“I was lucky we have in Timmins the best Crohn’s specialist around in Dr. Adesanya,” says Poulin. “After a colonoscopy/endoscope, I was diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease.”
According to the Crohn’s and Colitis Canada website, Crohn’s causes inflammation of the lining of the gastrointestinal tract and can strike anywhere from mouth to anus, though most often the inflammation affects the bowels and colon.
“For a while I was on 32 different pills a day,” says Poulin. “I’ve had two surgeries on my intestines also.”
Though the physical pain was a lot to handle, Poulin says the emotional toll could be even more challenging.
“Being in high school with a condition was so challenging because I didn’t know anyone else who had anything like me and I didn’t know how to tell people I was sick,” says Poulin.
“When I had told my friends, some didn’t believe me,” says Poulin. “But they were kids like me with no understanding of it.”
“I had started to develop anxiety of going out because I didn’t know when my condition would flare up and if I'd be stuck somewhere,” says Poulin.
Poulin found solace in exercise at the Total Martial Arts Centre, then owned by Founder and Senior Instructor Richard Webb.
“I was told exercise could help with my condition,” says Poulin. “I did feel very comfortable at the martial arts centre, so I spent a lot of time there."
"It made me more confident.”
When Poulin was in his mid-20’s, he had the opportunity to purchase the Total Martial Arts Centre from Webb. He jumped at the opportunity, and has been running TMAC ever since.
Poulin’s battle with Crohn’s, however, is ongoing.
“Just a couple years ago, most of my body was shutting down after being sick for two years straight,” says Poulin. “I had to get four different scopes until they figured out I needed to have a bowel resection. I had some bad fistulas too that needed to be fixed ASAP.”
Poulin says the surgery forced him to take some time off.
"After my surgery, I had to take about 3-4 months off," says Poulin. "Really, it took about a year to be fully recovered.”
If his struggles with Crohn’s weren’t already bad enough, Poulin was diagnosed with Meniere’s disease just last year.
According to the Mayo Clinic, Meniere’s disease “is a disorder of the inner ear that causes episodes in which you feel as if you're spinning (vertigo), and you have fluctuating hearing loss with a progressive, ultimately permanent loss of hearing, ringing in the ear (tinnitus), and sometimes a feeling of fullness or pressure in your ear.”
He has been living with the symptoms of Meniere’s for about 6 years, but being self-employed has helped him balance his personal and professional life.
“I’m self-employed now for the last 10 years which makes thing a tad easier on me,” says Poulin. “I don't know how most Crohn’s/Meniere’s sufferers can maintain full-time employment. They are extremely tough people.”
Of course, he adds, sometimes even self-employed people have to go to work.
“I’ve had to go to work my coaching job many times while being super sick,” says Poulin. “You just learn to cope as much as possible after awhile."
"I try not to let my condition be other people’s problem.”
Now, he's starting to talk more openly about his condition in the hopes he might be able to inspire others.
“As someone who was very quiet about my condition growing up, I think it’s extremely important to find people who understand you. Only recently I have joined online support groups and that is something I wish I had when I was 16."
"People always think they're alone, but that’s not the truth.“
Poulin says his openness had lead to some positive interactions.
“I get a lot of messages from people dealing with the same condition asking how I deal and cope,” says Poulin. “So I'm always very happy to help those with questions.“
Poulin says the most important answer he can give people like himself is to not let their circumstances get in the way of their dreams.
“Just because you’re sick and have to deal with set backs doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person,” says Poulin. “You can still do anything you put your mind to. You just might need to set a longer goal date.”
“I’ve earned five instructorships in five different martial arts. I fought/competed in a few different styles of martial arts, and coached multiple regional, provincial, national, and international champions.”
Like most things, Poulin says, it's about hard work and determination.
“Set those goals and just don't stop working towards them. If something gets in the way, deal with it and get back on the path.”
